it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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