I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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