is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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