If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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