Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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