My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize