I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
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Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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