if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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