Dual....:-)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize