I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize