ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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