He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize