i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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