Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (2947) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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  (248): ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores. http://tfl.nu/e4hq
  Replies (19) Good night (4893) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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  (612): just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity. http://tfl.nu/dkjk
  Replies (11) Good night (727) Bad night (2960) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.

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  (803): definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him. http://tfl.nu/8psn
  Replies (23) Good night (652) Bad night (4344) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way

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  (267): oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way http://tfl.nu/43of
  Replies (16) Good night (4011) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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  (508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1315) Bad night (3003) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.

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  (803): My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3the
  Replies (4) Good night (1420) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?

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  (913): My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot? http://tfl.nu/qatl
  Replies (5) Good night (1091) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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  (479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.

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  (503): He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain. http://tfl.nu/zlsy
  Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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  (704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt
  Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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  (651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (969)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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  (727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey
  Replies (5) Good night (1365) Bad night (234)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains

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  (919): the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains http://tfl.nu/cfm9
  Replies (5) Good night (243) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt

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