he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize