I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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