so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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