I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize