ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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