My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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