Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
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She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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