hell yes lets make some ravioli
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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