i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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