Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize