if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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