i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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