Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Your tits are I can't wait for

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  (647): Your tits are I can't wait for http://tfl.nu/8px6
  Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.

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  (412): I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life. http://tfl.nu/mibv
  Replies (8) Good night (926) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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  (361): I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing. http://tfl.nu/i6wh
  Replies (29) Good night (513) Bad night (3601) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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  (207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8
  Replies (27) Good night (829) Bad night (3749)
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  (347): View more from New York

  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
  Replies (32) Good night (6042) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (899) Bad night (4703) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6217) Bad night (2320) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.

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  (828): Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying. http://tfl.nu/gcnz
  Replies (12) Good night (898) Bad night (5255) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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  (208): They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!" http://tfl.nu/fyfv
  Replies (10) Good night (1585) Bad night (3321) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?

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  (704): Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that? http://tfl.nu/6433
  Replies (0) Good night (1552) Bad night (479)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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  (715): An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all. http://tfl.nu/7eme
  Replies (12) Good night (3614) Bad night (600)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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  (740): Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom? http://tfl.nu/p5et
  Replies (9) Good night (1190) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2

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  (206): I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2 http://tfl.nu/1blx
  Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (430)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?

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  (330): Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure? http://tfl.nu/lg4r
  Replies (3) Good night (248) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.

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  (310): I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle. http://tfl.nu/a8xs
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (215)

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