K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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