I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
did you just send me my own nude
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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