matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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