Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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