i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize