Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize