Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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