i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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