Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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