This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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