are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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