He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize