Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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