He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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