You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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