Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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