im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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