erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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