What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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