No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sobbing to NWA
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