it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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