don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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