Only a mothe r could love this liver
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize